What Is
Life In Fast Forward?
Welcome to the online home of me, some guy given the name John Cleveland Payne. In the grand scheme of life, I am just another guy with another blog. But to myself, and hopefully to all of you who actually read this, I am something a little more special. From a young age, I fell in love of the idea of ‘the message’ and medium in which you try to transmit.

Basically, everyone has a message to give to the world. Some are basic, some complex, some have the power to up lift and some are just out there to bring as many people down as possible. But everyone has a message, and most people have problems identifying their message. And the ones who get that far can seem to figure out how to get the world to listen.

Well, I have a message, and this is where I will get a chance to share it. Hopefully, you’ll get plenty of things to keep you motivated or inspired, provide knowledge and comfort, and just have a little fun. Apologies for the state of flux and state of seemingly confusing messages that you’ll get here for a while, as I am doing a lot of personal soul searching, and scrubbing of old ideas to take the best of the past to build a new beginning.

In 2007, I changed the name of blog from “The Mis-Adventures Of The Jazzy Cool One” to “Life In Fast Forward.” I began to tear down old blogs and newsletters and try to find places for them here. My goal is to take the focus off of me the person, and show the world the life I live and share with every human on the planet. I aspire to life at a very high standard, and instead of dealing with people who rather slow us down, I want to find ways to help people pick up there own pace. As you get to see an insight to the further adventures I hope to lead, hopefully you’ll enjoy the ride, and want to come along.

Other things
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Other things
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Thursday, December 23, 2004
So a guy tried to car jack me last night . . .

. . . and belief it or not, it left me pissed off not at myself for not seeing it comming sooner, but at the car jacker being an idiot. I am thankful for such idiocy, but still a little miffed nonetheless.

Let me tell the story, and to make the long story a little shorter, I was leaving late from the TV job to pick up my wife who was stuck at her sister's apartment after being stuck in her car after Arkansas got bitch-slapped with a lot more snow a lot earlier than anyone thought. 1:30AM, no traffic because of snow & ice, cars mostly snowed in hours earlier. I pull up in front of the apartment, call my wife from out side, stand in the street, car running. A guy who I nearly hit coming into the complex is mysteriously now in front of me, looking for some street I never heard of. I let him borrow my cell phone, and after dialing around 15 digits to make a phone call, I realized that:

a) my attempt to be a good Samaritan was dumb, and
b) my car jacker is probably even dumber

So idiot car jacker showed every sign of moving for the car and I was able to mirror and block him off, while he was leaving the fake voice mail message. Then came the attack. He handed me back my cell phone into my right hand, then pulled out a stun gun and applied it to the middle of my left shoulder. It's 14 degrees, I'm wearing two sweaters and a pull-over, leather gloves, bandana and ball cap, jeans and sneakers. Car jacker missed the day they taught electricity and insulation in school. And I spent about the whole minute he was trying knock me out cursing at him, calling him an idiot, and asking him why was he wasting my time.

Finally getting tired of my scolding, he push off me with the hand that had the stun gun, and ran, I fell over an bruised my thumb catching myself. Wife heard me cursing, came outside and saw me on the ground, and thought I was cussing because I fell.

That's my story . . .
posted by J. Cleveland Payne @ 1:02 PM  
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